Halloween Flashback: Watcher in the Woods

One of the most memorable live action scary films from Disney that I watched back in the day was Watcher in the Woods. On October 21, just in time for Halloween, Lifetime is releasing a remake of the film directed and produced by none other than Melissa Joan Hart, also a major part of my youth. The trailer looks pretty good, although I don't know what the plague doctor mask has to do with anything:

I loved this film as a kid: spooky ghost activity, a mystery to be solved, an old manor, British accents. I have very fond memories of watching it on a yearly basis. But I suspected my memory was a little colored by youth. The last time I watched it was probably pre-high school. So I was wary when I ordered it through my library. I didn't want it to be ruined by my more experienced and savvy adult brain.

If you aren't familiar or don't remember, Watcher in the Woods is about a family that moves into an old English manor being rented out by a widow, Mrs. Aylewood, whose daughter Karen disappeared mysteriously thirty years prior. Mrs. Aylewood lives in a cottage on the property and is very picky about who lives in the house.

The Curtis family consists of musician Paul, children's book writer Helen, teenage girl Jan and a younger girl, Ellie, who talks a lot about food. They are deemed acceptable, likely because Jan looks an awful lot like Karen.

Strange things start happening to Jan and Ellie. Jan sees images of Karen in mirrors, and Ellie hears things that Jan can't. As they meet and talk to other locals who apparently live 5 seconds away and never have anything better to do, Jan starts to put the pieces to Karen's mystery together.

The cast is actually worth mentioning, as some of the actors have been in noteworthy roles both before and after this film:

• Bette Davis as Mrs. Aylewood, and... well, she's Bette Davis, enough said.
• Lynn-Holly Johnson as Jan was also in "Ice Castles"
• Kyle Richards as Ellie was fucking LINDSEY from "Halloween"! How did I never know that!
• Carroll Baker as their mom, but once she was nominated for an Oscar for a film called "Baby Doll", where she played a "sensuous nineteen-year-old virgin."
• David McCallum as their dad, who has been in some decent stuff like "The Great Escape" and "NCIS"
• Benedict Taylor plays teen love interest Mike, and was also a nameless fighter pilot in "Star Wars Episode I", which is probably a best case scenario for being associated with that film.
• Frances Cuka is Mike's mother, and I was pleasantly surprised to see she had a role in "Snow White: A Tale of Terror."
• Richard Pasco as Tom Colley, who was also in the Queen Victoria film "Mrs. Brown"
• Ian Bannen who starred in "Waking Ned Devine"
  

Overall, the movie still had a nice eerie factor to it, and the mystery of how Karen disappeared is actually even more interesting to me now that I've been reminded what happened. I think the spoiler-expiration has more than passed, but I'll limit myself to saying that this is a great example of unexpected sci-fi horror. It's set up as a ghost story, but it's not a ghost story. Kinda cool, and I totally forgot about that part.

I think one downside is the special effects. The images of Karen are done well enough, but the computer generated colors and lights look really weird and out of place. Another downside is Lynn-Holly Johnson's performance. When her character's emotions are level, she's mostly fine. Still a little overdone at times, but acceptable. When she gets angry or passionate or excited, her voice just ramps up to irritating heights. And she goes from zero to screaming pretty fast. It's hard to take by the end.

And given that, I will point out that if and when you visit the film's IMDB page, you'll notice that it won an award. I was a little surprised-- while it will always be a favorite from childhood, it just didn't seem like an award-winner. Sadly, the award it won was a "Stinker" bad movie award in 1981. The strange part is that Kyle "I was in Halloween motherfucker" Richards won for worst performance by a child in a featured role. I would have given it to Johnson, personally, although I suppose she might not have been a "child" at the time. Girl was chewing the scenery something fierce. I thought Kyle did a fine enough job, and she has some truly creepy moments when the "ghost" possesses her.

So if, like me, you hold a certain degree of nostalgia for Watcher in the Woods, it would be worth borrowing a copy to at least indulge your inner child and remember where your love of creepy things started.

Sick Day, Bloody Sick Day

Last week I had the pleasure of my second summer cold of the season, and while lying around coughing uncontrollably I thought about good sick day movies.

For me, a good sick day film has to be relatively low on gore and surrealism. Even mild fevers mess with my head, I don’t need the film to add to it. So I tend towards older films that are creepy or fun in a spooky way. Even better if it’s something I’ve seen a billion times, so I won’t miss out if I drift in and out while sitting on what I have dubbed the Couch of Doom, due to its seemingly mystical ability to cause sleepiness even when one is perfectly healthy and alert.

So as my immune system waged a war so forceful that I hoped my respiratory system would remain in tact, I came up with three solid pre-1970’s films starring horror icons to help me pass the time.

Horror vs. Sci-fi: Genre and the Nature of Disbelief

In my opinion, Sci-fi/Horror is one of the greatest genre hybrids of all time. It reaches all the way back to Mary Shelley writing about Frankenstein's Monster, which was a defining work in both genres. They fit together so well in part because they inspire questions about the consequences we face as individual people, as a society, as creatures on a planet that may or may not be alone in time or space. They both deal in the unknown, or unexplained, but often in different ways. For example, science fiction looks into the vastness of space and sees possibility, advanced technology, the enlightenment of discovery and the awesome potential of meeting new intelligent life. Horror wants to show you why you should be very, very afraid of those things.

But that's a shallow reading of the potential of each genre. The truth is, they can reach and be so much more. They are not mutually exclusive, and sometimes they can even swap M.O.'s and really blow your mind. 

Merging science fiction and horror has resulted in some amazing films. The adaptations of FRANKENSTEIN should be mentioned, but two of the best and most successful examples are ALIEN and ALIENS. Other films worth mentioning include THE THING, SCANNERS, and VIDEODROME. Even the 1953 version of WAR OF THE WORLDS is considered to be a hybrid of the two genres. 

Thinking about this has made me wonder, though: Even if the two genres fit together well, do we experience them differently? Do I approach them differently? Do I expect more from science fiction than I do of horror?

And I'll tell you what made me even entertain the idea that there might be a difference: EVENT HORIZON.

Film review: The Haunting in Connecticut 2

I used to be a lot better about staying up to date on new movies, but the fact of the matter is, it's a hell of a lot of work and I sort of gave up the past few months. I have a feeling I'm missing out on a lot by being passive, and waiting for this information to work its way to me via the few channels I still use on a semi-regular basis. So it wasn't until recently that I realized a) The Haunting in Connecticut 2 was out and b) on DVD and c) on Netflix. Yep.

I really liked the first film, I've watched it maybe three or four times now. It's got some of my favorite story themes: spiritualism, haunted house, horror of physical disease, historical content, a mystery demanding to be solved. I find it creepy as hell, and appreciate the hopeful ending. So I gave the sequel a shot, hoping beyond hope.

Film review: The Conjuring

Thanks to a youth spent reading everything I could on the paranormal, I was already familiar with the real Warrens and their reputations. Even better, thanks to Lorraine appearing occasionally on Paranormal State, I was primed for catching her cameo in THE CONJURING.

So part of my interest in seeing the film was based in prior knowledge and an appreciation for ghost stories. But more than that, even early reports on the movie gave a glimmer of hope that this might be one of those rare, genuinely good modern horror films. The casting seemed excellent, and while it's based on a true story that's similar to many other haunted house tales (fiction or not) it's a formula that just kind of works.

Turkey Day Terror

Tradition dictates that Thanksgiving is a time for family, and turkey slaughter. I say the latter with joy in my heart, as I harbor a grudge against all turkeys thanks to one biting me when I was young. I've been biting back with pleasure ever since.

Whether you're planning a traditional full-course turkey dinner with parents and kids and aunts and uncles and cousins and hobos (give that turkey an extra stab for me) or spending your day with the MST3K Turkey Day Marathon (Ahem... hi) it's certainly a time that gets you thinking about family. For better or for worse.

On the other hand, if yours is too much of a headache, you could always think about someone else's family, especially ones that make you more grateful for even your own potentially wacky kin. On that note, here are some of my favorite horror films featuring creepy relatives and terrified families.

5 Bloodcurdling Birthdays

Before Carmageddon 2013 happened and I ended up on a week-long quest for a less crappy used car than the one I was perilously driving, I had a birthday.

Many of my friends are at the stage of life where they don't necessarily do anything major to celebrate. If they do, it's with their spouse, family, a couple of close friends maybe. Welcome to the 30+ club, I guess. I, on the other hand, coordinate something every year. Lately it's been game nights, which have been extremely fun. My theory is: I've had some really shitty birthdays. I've had some really shitty years of not having real friends, of being really lonely, and I still have a hard time reaching out to people because of all of that. So, being an adult with a nice group of really awesome friends, I've totally earned my right to surround myself with all the people I like at least once a year. You know, in person. As in, not on Facebook.

So I had a fantastic birthday with fantastic people, fantastic games, food and beverages.

But as most life events do, it got me wondering about birthdays in horror. What were some of the absolute worst birthdays on film? Here are my top 5, in a general order of how creepy I find them.

Book & Brew: Bloodsuckers

During September my library is featuring a display I put together where I pair up books with beers based on a theme. We're using it to help advertise an event we're having in October on home brewing called You Can Brew It! I had a lot of fun coming up with the pairings and lists, and I'm sharing a handful of them each week here on the blog.

Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring-- seems he was troubled by being left out of the Book & Brew. Luckily I had a couple of good choices lined up to keep the old bloodsucker happy.

(See the end of the entry for thumbnails and links to the brewmarks!)

Book & Brew: End of Days

During September my library is featuring a display I put together where I pair up books with beers based on a theme. We're using it to help advertise an event we're having in October on home brewing called You Can Brew It! I had a lot of fun coming up with the pairings and lists, and I'm sharing a handful of them each week here on the blog.

This week's topic is the source of some of my greatest nightmares: The Apocalypse. The End, Game Over, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200, Go Straight to Hell. Whether it's zombies, robots, demons, nukes, or demon zombie-robots made of nukes, might as well have a drink cause The End Is Near.

(See the end of the entry for thumbnails and links to the brewmarks!)

Book & Brew: Hell's Bells

If you didn't catch last week's post on beers to go with the undead, during September my library is featuring a display I put together where I pair up books with beers based on a theme. We're using it to help advertise an event we're having in October on home brewing called You Can Brew It! Plus I had a lot of fun coming up with the pairings and lists.

This week, my second horror-themed brewmarks come straight out of hell.

(See the end of the entry for thumbnails and links to the brewmarks!)

Book review: City of Bones

Young adult fiction isn't an area of expertise for me, but I've found myself enjoying some of the more popular sci-fi/fantasy series that have popped up over the last few years. I think the appeal for me is emotional, as there's an intensity to the protagonist that drives the story. Not that adult fiction can't be dramatic and emotional, but there's something about young adult fiction, some hook that you don't always find in adult novels. On the other hand, I also usually can't read one YA novel after another. I need a serious break from the teenage mind to read and think like an adult again. I'm currently rejoining the adult world with Richard Matheson's I AM LEGEND after blowing clear through Cassandra Clare's CITY OF BONES in a matter of days.

Horror Marathon: Shark Week Edition

This Sunday marked the beginning of a beloved annual Discovery Channel tradition: Shark Week. I myself am not necessarily a shark enthusiast, but I would have loved to check some of it out... if Comcast, slimy bastards that they are, had not taken away the few remaining cable channels that I actually gave a damn about. I'm not entirely sure I still have enough channels for it to qualify as cable, but they still keep charging me for it every month like clockwork. (If there's any justice in the world, someone from Comcast will read this and do something to sway my increasingly plummeting opinion of their service, which I am eager to drop completely.)

So instead, I'll have to make do with whatever content Discovery puts on their website. I also took it upon myself to have a bit of a shark marathon over the weekend, to get in the mood. Creature features are not my forte in the genre, they either have to be really good, or really funny to keep my interest. Out of the four films I chose, I had only seen JAWS once before. All things considered, it didn't turn out too bad. I came out with one great film, one surprisingly decent film, and two that I feel dumber for having watched.

Film review: Mama

Let's amputate the fancy preamble and cut to the chase about this movie. I don't have a good segue for it, and it seems so clear to me in the light of day that I want to jump right in.

Watching the Guillermo del Toro produced MAMA was like reading a story out of sequence. Being an aficionado of horror movies featuring frustrated ghosts, I know the drill. Spooky happenings, the skeptic explains it away, the believer does some research and finds a juicy story, activity ramps up, maybe the ghost is finally seen to prove its existence, they realize they have to do something to appease or banish the ghost, and in some films that works and in others it totally doesn't and they're all hosed.

Based on the Book

Since I hope to write about book-to-movie crossovers several more times in the coming months, I want to mention that I know it seems naive to expect anything but the cliched conclusion of: It wasn't as good as the book. I'm aware of this weakness of mine; the perpetual hope that the movie will recreate the feeling of the book it was based on. But it's not entirely baseless either, as there have been quite a few quality film adaptations that were faithful to the spirit of the book. 

Film Review and Freak-out: Kairo (Pulse)

I hesitate to call this a review, because my reason for writing it has more to do with something out of real life that happened while I was watching it. If you're already familiar with PULSE, you'll understand why I was terrified, but if not, I'll explain to the best of my ability.

Horror is Other People

One of the pitfalls of enjoying older horror films is discovering whether or not they still hold up in the 21st century. Some are so inextricably tied to their time period, that they lose any possibility of timelessness. But even if the audience is fine with that, accepts it, even loves it, it could still lose them if it just isn't scary anymore. Sometimes the only thing left is the satisfaction and appreciation for a well-crafted, masterful horror film-- even if it's no longer that relevant to modern life or modern fear.


One of the films that I find still holds up really well is PSYCHO.

Film review-ish: Scream 4

During lunch at a recent library training event, somehow the topic of the SCREAM trilogy came up in a somewhat disparaging way. As always, I was the lone weirdo who halted the conversation to say, "But... I like the SCREAM series!" One of my colleagues backed me up on the first movie, but... only the first movie.. Okay, okay...

I don't believe in guilty pleasures, so anyone hoping I'm going to back down and admit that two and three sucked and I have bad taste for liking them is going to be more than a little disappointed. I try to avoid judging other people's tastes, even though I might not be perfect at it, and I hope that others will allow me the same courtesy in return. My theory is, looking down my nose at what someone else likes accomplishes nothing except possibly making that other person feel bad. I don't want to be responsible for that!

So let's address SCREAM.

American Mary

As of today, AMERICAN MARY is officially out on VOD! You can see it through Comcast, Cox, Cablevision, Verizon or iTunes. The film will also have a limited release in the U.S. starting May 31st. The best way to find out if it's coming out near you is probably to keep an eye on the film's Twitter feed or Twisted Twins Productions' Facebook page.

However! If you're in the Chicago area you're in luck...

Film review: House at the End of the Street

I was sure that HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET was a remake. I could have sworn there was already a movie with this title, but I guess I must have been thinking of one of the other dozens of "house" movies out there.

I really want to be fair to HOUSE, since there are already many polarizing reviews out there. I won't lie that I had a few snarky comments spring to mind while watching it. ...And I'm probably going to include a couple of them here. I had some genuine issues with the way the plot and characters were written, even if I did like the direction they went by the end of the film. I try to avoid spoilers, but I'm probably going to have to get into a couple of them to do this justice.

Horror Added to Netflix as of March 31st

The batch of horror added to Netflix this month doesn't have anything that's terribly exciting to me. It's awesome that 2001 MANIACS is there, and amusing that 976-EVIL 2 was added. I am interested in seeing HANSEL & GRETEL and CITADEL, although I'm not expecting them to be brilliant. The plots of a couple others sound intriguing just because I like creepy/haunted hospitals and houses, but I'm betting they aren't anything to write home about.

The new addition I'm most excited about is actually Craig Ferguson's "I'm Here To Help" show, which I must watch IMMEDIATELY. God, I love that man.


Title - Date added - Netflix link

• Greystone Park - 03/30 - Stream

• Citadel - 03/27 - Stream

• Hold Your Breath - 03/24 - Stream

• Death of a Ghost Hunter 03/15 - Stream

• The Frozen - 03/15 - Stream

• Hansel & Gretel - 03/10 - Stream

• Hypothermia - 03/04 - Stream

• 100 Ghost Street: Richard Speck - 03/03 - Stream

• 2001 Maniacs - 03/03 - Stream

• 976-Evil 2 - 03/03 - Stream